What kills Long-Distance Relationships?

You’re in love, and everything seems perfect, except for one tiny detail – the hundreds or thousands of miles separating you from your partner.

Long distance relationship guzzles. I’ve never heard anyone say, “My partner lives miles apart at a distance, and it is going great!”. Conversely, everyone I’ve observed in a long-distance relationship keeps complaining about the differences that have developed between them, ending up with a feeling of agony.

I agree; I’ve experienced that state. Most of us face a long-distance relationship at some time or multiple times. We’ve met hundreds of people saying, “We cannot survive long-distance relationships as it’s killing.” However, a long-distance relationship becomes challenging when you lose tolerance and give up. So What kills long-distance relationships? let us explore the main reasons for relationship quality and commitment in long-distance relationships.

Generally, communication is the key to thrive any relationship, as this bond constantly requires conversation. When both partners stop nurturing their bond with love, care, and concern, it becomes burdensome and becomes vulnerable to destruction.

In this article we will help you find out What kills Long Distance Relationships?’, we’ll figure out what exactly triggers the downfall of such relationships.

 

 Why Are Long-Distance Relationships Hard?

Long-distance relationships cannot be defined precisely, as everyone has his definition of it. Most of the partners are geographically parted for one reason or the other, hence suffering from the outcomes of a long-distance relationship. Why are long-distance relationships hard? It is always hard for a partner to stay apart from his counterpart as it carries a load of challenges. Here are some factors that kill long-distance relationships.

 Things that Kill Long_Distance Relationships 

1. Feeling of insecurity
2. Inconsistent communication
3. Fear of infidelity
4. Depression
5. Hopelessness for the future
6. Lack of common interests
7. Falsehood
8. Individual priorities

 Feeling of Insecurity

We all have insecurities, but talking and expressing them to your partner creates harmony. If any partner staying a long distance is;nt expressing his bothersome feeling, the relationship gets sour with time.

It’s important to win your partner’s trust and ask him respectfully despite being paranoid over baseless matters.

Inconsistent Communication

Effective communication serves as the lifeline in the foggy path of long-distance love, that keeps hearts tethered across miles. It’s not merely about sharing your daily experiences or thoughts; it develops an understanding and appreciating each other’s perspectives.

 

When you are physically apart, the words you exchange become even more significant, carrying far more weight than they would in a typical face-to-face conversation. You rely on these interactions to sustain your connection, making every word count.

 

Now let’s consider what happens when this crucial element is lacking. Without effective communication, misunderstandings can quickly escalate into full-blown disagreements that could be avoided otherwise. The absence of non-verbal cues such as body language and facial expressions might lead to misinterpretations causing unnecessary conflicts.

 

Research from Cornell University also suggests that couples in long-distance relationships may be more susceptible to anxiety and depression due to communication struggles.

 

That said, all hope isn’t lost if you’re facing communication challenges in your long-distance relationship. By being open about your feelings without placing blame, patiently listening to one another and finding creative ways of connecting like ‘virtual dates’, you can overcome these hurdles together.

What kills long-distance relationships? Long-distance relationship especially requires consistent communication. As soon as it’s exposed to lack of expression, it comes on the verge of destruction. If your partner doesn’t have your attention, he’ll surely find some other person to communicate with. Whatever the distance, you have to drop a text or a quick note to satisfy your partner and keep the relationship from collapsing.

 

Fear of Infidelity

Living at a long distance, there can be maximum chances of losing a partner because of facing a fear of infidelity. Partners need help to trust when tested.

When a couple is staying miles away, it’s easier for one to slip and fall as the urge is natural. So it’s better to end such a relationship than be caught cheating and hurting your partner.

You may start questioning their actions or doubting their feelings for you. This magnifies the vulnerability in the physical distance and can lead to destructive jealousy if not managed properly.

Research shows that trust is an essential ingredient in maintaining a healthy long-distance relationship. Without it, jealousy easily takes root, leading to conflicts and misunderstandings. According to Dr. Guldner at The Centre for the Study of Long-Distance Relationships, 70% of all failed long-distance relationships result from unplanned changes perceived as threatening by one’s partner who then reacts with suspiciousness and jealousy.

Depression

A state that continuously causes unhappiness and discontentment leads to depression. It is essential to keep oneself in some favourite hobbies and stay calm. You should talk to your partner about displeasure, but if he fails to settle you down, the relationship becomes challenging to continue.

The Impact of Missing Major Life Events

When you’re miles apart, missing out on significant life events of each other can be a tough pill to swallow. You may not feel the sting right away, but this lack of shared experiences can damage your connection over time.

 

Think about it: birthdays, anniversaries, graduations—these are the milestones that people typically share and celebrate together. Not being there for these significant moments can make you feel disconnected and even lead to feelings of resentment or misunderstanding.

Research has shown that sharing experiences promotes bonding and strengthens relationships. The absence of joint participation in important occasions can gradually weaken your emotional bond and mutual understanding. It’s not just about the physical presence; it’s also about the emotions shared during such times that foster stronger connections. When you miss these moments, you essentially miss opportunities to deepen your relationship.

The Strain of Financial Costs

Just like a leaky faucet can drain your bank account if left unchecked, the financial costs of maintaining a long-distance relationship can strain you and your partner.

 

Covering travel expenses to see each other, sending gifts or even something as simple as increased phone bills can add up over time. If not managed properly, these financial burdens can lead to stress and tension in the relationship.

 

Hopelessness for the Future

If you barely manage the sadness due to long distance, becoming a victim of hopelessness for the future is common. When you are far from each other, it’s pretty easy for the partners to drift away. You will start portraying your future rather than persisting on common ground.

Instead, revitalise your relationship by recollecting memories and recalling the hobbies you and your partner once enjoyed together.

Lack of Common Interests

When living away from your partner, Skype calls and text messages sometimes become insufficient to remain intact from a common point of view. Partners get easily distracted due to less attention towards each other, which results in a lack of common interests. And this is one of the reasons that kills long-distance relationships.

Individual Priorities

A major sign that your distant relationship is ending is that you get to have individual priorities over your partner. It is somewhat okay for couples to prioritize their things individually, but it is not helpful if no shared priority is set in between, thus killing the relationship lately.

Navigating the tricky waters of maintaining shared interests can feel like keeping a ship steady in a storm, especially when you’re far apart. The distance often makes it difficult to engage in common activities, leading to a gradual loss of shared experiences vital for growing together as a couple. You can’t exactly go on movie dates or try out new hobbies together, and this lack of joint engagement can lead to drifting apart.

 

Falsehood

One thing that’s unbearable for a spouse is the falsehood and dishonesty of his partner. Telling a lie or cheating your partner is inevitable when living apart. If anyone in the couple finds the other dishonest, you should give your a chance to your relationship by sitting together and talking wisely over the bone of contention.

Breaking Up with Someone You Love

Breaking up with someone you love is not the right option; you should take a break, connect to your partner, and learn the differences that can be amended.

Suppose you think your partner is getting careless, paying no heed to bring up the relationship, and it is getting to connect just because of the long distance. In that case, such a relationship is called off respectfully.

How to End a Long-Distant Relationship with Someone?

A relationship is nurtured with the bonds of faith, friendship, love, care, and lots of attention. However, living at a distance of miles manifolds the complication of surviving that relationship. However, long-distance is not the only factor for the break-up; there can be other contributing factors that a couple has to counter.

When you want to remain bound to each other, you must address common problems that mess up your relationship bond.

1. Expression of your genuine feelings towards your partner.
2. Communicate with your partner about the things that are bothering you.
3. Discuss wisely and make common decisions.
4. Share the doubts you are having in your mind.
5. Stay connected with your partner.
6. Allow your partner to express his feelings by being unhesitant.
7. Cherish the lovely past you spent together.
8. Celebrate little moments that make the ride worthwhile.

 

How to Fix Emotional Distance in a Relationship?

Both partners must stay by each other’s side and not let the other feel unattended and emotionally distant. It is natural to go through emotional damage when you are living in space. You always want a good listener who listens to all your silly to sensible chat. Try indulging in some gossip and support your partner to fix the emotional damage he is going through.

How to Fix Fights in a Long-Distance Relationship?

Show a clear picture of your stance rather than beating about the bush. Give your partner a transparent point of view and try to convince him. Communicate for a better understanding of the matter matters.  Figure out the fight’s root cause so you may get to the solution. Believe your partner, as disbelief can kill a long-distance relationship. Say sorry if you are wrong, and fix the argument.

Feeling Distant From your Partner

When you are living at a long distance, it is already hard to stay intact. If the feeling of infidelity and faithlessness takes place, it barely lets the relationship last long. Lack of trust occurs when one of the partners does not abide by rules set by both.

To heal him, you give him some space to breathe and think independently and show compassion towards your partner to fill in the space between you and him.

Is it Normal to Feel Distant in a Long Distant Relationship?

It is normal for the partners to feel lonely and detached from the other in long-distance relationships. The feeling of mistrust, disbelief, and suspicion easily gets over when there is a space, as both partners are away. They cannot clear the doubts that originate in others’ minds, so it is natural for you to feel distant or emotionally detached.

 Feeling of Distance

Emotional detachment in a relationship is noticed when partners find it difficult to keep any spark between their bonds. The feeling of distance occurs due to the lack of connectivity between the two. This kills long-distance relationships and makes you feel distant from your partner.

Both partners must sacrifice their priorities for each other and make others feel safe by spending much time together, engaging in Zoom calls, and sharing quick text notes.

Effects of Long-Distance Relationships on  Physical and Mental Health :

Long distance in a relationship can be a red flag, indicating trouble when a partner who was once physically and emotionally connected and engaged has left you at a distance of miles. For some, it is not as bothersome; it gets hard to survive. They get mentally affected and go through stress and anxiety, which deteriorates their mental health.

What Happens to the Brain When You Are Living Long-Distance Relationships?

When you are not in the company of your partner, your brain makes you feel a lack of pampering and comfort, so the states like depression, stress, and aggression take over your mind.

Chemicals that are Released When You Feel Distant:

The brain sends signals to release stress hormones, i.e. Adrenaline and Cortisol, that are linked to anxiety and depression, making you feel less active, showing the least interest in any activity, and everything seems dismal.

CORTISOL:

“Released by the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, cortisol is a steroid hormone that is elevated in response to stress or anxiety (Booth et al.,2005). Cortisol serves myriad functions, including its role in metabolism, anti-inflammation, immune activity, the fight-or-flight response, and sensory acuity. (Booth et al., 2000 ; Boren & Veksler, 2011)”

 Dysregulation OF Stress Hormone

“When experiencing stress, if a person’s cortisol response is too high or low, delayed or erratic, try again, or the person is unable to recover back to baseline (before stress) levels sufficiently, it might be considered dysregulated (Dickerson & Kemeny, 2004).

Dysregulation is also associated with increased cortisol awakening response (CAR 30-40 minutes after awakening), increased cortisol reactivity to a stressor, and other related illnesses (see Boren & Veksler, 2011, for the review). CAR is positively associated with job or general life stress or negatively associated with fatigue, burnout, and exhaustion (Chida & Steptoe, 2009), suggesting that stress in personal or professional life can lead to dysregulation of cortisol responses”.

REF: The Oxford Handbook Of Evolutionary Psychology and Romantic Relationships

Ways To Make Yourself and Your Partner Feel Good In a Long-Distance Relationship

I agree! It gets difficult to soothe your partner’s feelings when not around. Both partners must leave no stone unturned in synchronizing routines and ensure they stand by their side. There are several ways to invigorate the lost spark in your relationship:

1. Rejuvenate your relationship by giving maximum time to each other without being asked.
2. If you live in different time zones, try to match your routine with your counterpart.
3. Indulge in playful activities to distract your partner from the subject.
4. A big thanks to technology! Plan a movie date together.
5. Get dressed for each other n connect via video calls. You can also share goofy shots to make others smile. Self-care is a must-have for keeping you physically and mentally healthy.
6. Motivate yourself and your partner to involve in self-pampering sessions to pass the quality time.
7. Memorize lovely moments and plan your bright future.

Conclusion:

In the end, long-distance relationships can be hard, but they don’t have to end in disaster. Couples can actively work to keep their bond strong by addressing the main things that can hurt a long-distance relationship, such as insecurity, inconsistent communication, fear of infidelity, depression, hopelessness, lack of common interests, lying, and having different priorities. Open and honest communication, efforts to build trust, mutual understanding, and shared experiences can help bridge the physical distance and keep the connection strong. Long-distance relationships take more work, but with determination and dedication, they can survive the challenges and grow stronger in the end.