When I Felt, My Relationship Is Falling Apart
My relationship is falling apart. Most people, at some time in their relationship, ask themselves, “Why is my relationship falling apart?”
When they know the relationship is falling apart, they ask themselves, “What to do when it is falling apart?
A relationship is like a delicate flower, it needs nurturing, care, and attention to blossom. However, sometimes despite our best efforts, relationships can go through difficult times and start to fall apart.
Every relationship, be it romantic or platonic, has to face the rough patch. Partners in a relationship can sense that their relationship is falling apart. This does not mean that you have to get a divorce ASAP.
It is important to be able to identify the signs and take the necessary steps to rebuild and save your relationship. In this article, I will explain the signs that indicate your relationship is falling apart, what to do when you find yourself in such a situation, and ways to save and rebuild your relationship.
6 Signs That Your Relationship Is Falling Apart:
Every relationship is unique, and the signs of a falling apart relationship may vary. However, there are some common indicators that can help you identify if your relationship is in trouble. These indicators affect all areas of your life, ultimately risking your growth in your personal and professional life.
1. You lack mutual trust.
Do you feel that you can no longer tell your partner about what’s happening in your mind and life because you think there might be incoming judgment? This is the first sign that you do not trust them with your thoughts and vulnerability. There might be a fair chance that your partner feels the same way, and you both have lost the mutual trust.
This is a broad topic of discussion, but if your relationship has not reached the emotional and physical abuse phase, there is room for betterment.
Trust is the foundation of all human relationships. There isn’t much left of a bond where trust has been tarnished and broken. But if you and your partner are willing to make it work, you might have some luck.
You must know that when you doubt your partner’s dependability and loyalty, you have lost trust and need to do something about it ASAP.
2. You are barely communicating. Silence is one of the first indicators of a crumbling relationship.
Lack of communication can look like this:
- At the dinner table, there is uncomfortable silence, and both of you are on your phones or just not talking to each other. When you have nothing to share, you think against telling them about your day.
- When you feel as if you’ll be belittled for speaking your mind.
- When you both do not exchange texts at work and update each other about the happenings when one of you is away.
- You have developed a tone of voice which is itself a barrier in smooth communication and thus affects your relationship.
All of this agrees with the conclusion that there is a communication gap.
3. You do not have common interests. When people do activities as a couple, it strengthens their bond. That’s why people prefer choosing partners with mutual interests, as there are a variety of topics of conversation and things to do.
If you find yourself doing activities once a couple of times together, you should know that something is up and needs fixing.
4. You spend little or no time together. Partners find comfort in each other after a long day at work. When, even at the end of the day, you don’t want their company or vice versa, and when date nights and things that you both enjoyed doing as a couple are less frequent to non-existent, this rings a bell of alarm that your relationship dynamic has changed.
5. You have frequent arguments and fights. Arguments in a relationship are usual and inevitable; you both argue and resolve with no afterthoughts or hurt left within your hearts.
But when you and your partner start to bicker over things that you normally agree upon or things that you both don’t fight over and when, even after the argument has ended, you have things left unsaid and unresolved, hurt when minute details about your partner start to irk you or them about you, it indicates that something is off.
6. You find yourself losing your individuality. When the situation of your relationship affects how you view yourself, your self-respect, and your self-worth, it is one of the signs that your relationship is falling apart and that you are unhappy.
Remember that partners in a relationship will only flourish when they both are in a good mental place and content with themselves.
What to Do When Your Relationship is Falling Apart:
Now that you have accepted and identified that you and your partner are going through a rough patch and you both do not want to give up on each other, it’s time to work on the relationship.
Make your relationship a priority, and put your partner before the other people in your life. It’s vital to know that your relationship is an important aspect of your life, and your mental health gets affected positively and negatively by it and vice versa.
When working to build your relationship again, both partners must contribute equally to it.
1. Refrain from making rash decisions.
Don’t head to the exit right away. Giving up has never worked in the favor of people. If your relationship hasn’t become toxic and abusive, be it mentally or physically, and you feel that with effort, you can get back to being a content couple, don’t head to divorce.
“When you have looked at your part of the problem and done your work to change (and feel good about that), and you’re still unhappy—that may be time to end the relationship. Avoid making rash or sudden decisions in a difficult moment.”
2. Communicate freely.
When you realize that your relationship is falling apart, it is essential to take immediate action to address the issues. Firstly, you need to communicate with your partner openly and honestly about your concerns and feelings. Avoid pointing fingers or blaming each other, instead focus on expressing yourselves calmly and listening to each other.
This will create a safe space for both of you to share your thoughts and work towards finding solutions.
Communication isn’t always as easy as it sounds. “Just talk it out” can’t be applied when you and your partner have a major emotional gap.
Some people don’t face any problem expressing their feelings and situation civilly, while others find it difficult.
“Communication is what keeps couples on the same page and feeling like they are solving problems together rather than against one another,”
says Sarah Epstein, a licensed marriage and family therapist
All in all, you and your partner need to sit down, take time out and be brutally honest to each other. No, it doesn’t mean you must vent your pent-up frustrations on them. It means talking about your concerns, issues, the reason behind your behavior, and there’s.
3. Understand your partner’s feelings and suffering.
Don’t make the mistake of blaming your partner for all the troubles in your relationship. A romantic relationship goes both ways, and both partners contribute equally, even during rough patches.
In many cases, people are clear about what their partner has done wrong but are blind to what they are doing. You need to consider your partner’s thought processes their habits and put yourself to compromise for the sake of your relationship if you see that your partner’s mental health, living conditions, or lifestyle does not allow them to put their all into the relationship.
4. Seek couple’s therapy and help for yourself if needed
Having an outsider’s neutral perspective on your relationship is useful. Although some might think it’s intrusive when the outsider is a therapist, it’s not.
Seeking professional help from a family therapist can be beneficial. A trained therapist can provide guidance and facilitate constructive conversations, helping you understand the root causes of the problems and offering strategies to resolve them.
Remember, rebuilding a relationship takes time and effort from both partners, so be patient and committed to the process.
Seeking therapy isn’t shameful, nor is it unconventional. When things get too loaded and complicated, they need help from the outside. If you need the encouragement to go and fix an appointment with a marriage counselor, this is your sign to sit with your partner at a therapist’s office.
While counseling and therapy are highly effective, they will be useless if you or your partner do not have the want and urge to fix things. You must be keen and eager to get to the root of the problem and secure your relationship.
5. Make room for compromises.
Compromises are a part of relationships, but there must be balance. It would help if you weren’t making all the compromises and feeling drained and unloved.
Similarly, you shouldn’t expect your partner to find common ground. No two people can have the same wants and make the same decisions, but they should respectfully resolve conflicts when they come together in a relationship.
“When we compromise, we validate our partner’s feelings, needs, desires, and aspirations. We are showing them that we respect them, their needs matter, and that their point of view is valuable—even though it’s different from our own,”
If you and your partner frequently argue over household duties, kids, or anything that can be solved by dividing the workload, make the first move in planning and talking it out. You won’t regret it!
6. Don’t overlook your feelings.
In the whole ordeal of trying to support your partner and fix your failing relationship, don’t ignore yourself, your feelings, and your mental health.
A relationship can only work when both partners are content with themselves and don’t burden each other with past baggage. Don’t hesitate to ask; even if things are rough, your partner is your comfort person.
Reflect on the good and bad, let go of things that won’t matter to you after years, and precisely forgive yourself and your partner for mistakes made when the mind does not align with the heart.
You and your partner must not forget about individual needs and wants while fixing the relationship. After everything becomes smooth, you will surely realize your ignorance towards yourself, and things might relapse.
The takeaway:
Human nature is complex; no relationship comes without a bumpy ride. One thing you must ensure in fixing a failing relationship is not to let your ego ruin something beautiful.
Once you know your relationship is falling apart, don’t back out; be courageous enough to own up to your mistakes and identify your partner’s.
Try different approaches to solve the conflicts, and make sure you and your partner know each other’s insecurities and concerns. If kids are involved, ensure you don’t deprive them of a beautiful childhood and family, but this only applies when you and your partner are not abusive.
Completely breaking apart must be the last resort, and only when you both are sure that there’s nothing left to fix and that it’s better for both of you to be out of one another’s lives.
Efforts make the relationship, and only efforts can save one. You can make it through the turbulence together.
