Navigating the Distance: 3 Harsh Facts Long-Distance Relationships Face
You’re in love. Head over heels, can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t stop smiling. Love, the only problem? Miles separate you and your sweetheart. While technology connects us in so many ways, long distance relationships are still challenging. Before you embark on late night video chats and expensive visits, here are 3 harsh facts about long distance relationships you need to know. Love may conquer all, but distance tests even the strongest of bonds.
Looking into the details of 3 harsh facts long- distance relationships face is actually difficult to sum up. Long distance takes work, commitment, trust, and a whole lot of patience. If you go into it with realistic expectations though, you’ll find the rewards of reuniting again and again can make the distance seem trivial in the grand scheme of things.
What are the 3 harsh facts long-distance relationships go through?
Lack of Physical Intimacy
Long distance relationships can be challenging to say the least. One of the harshest facts is lack of physical intimacy. When you can’t be together in person, it’s hard to maintain an active sex life or even simple physical affection like hugging, kissing and holding hands.
Many couples struggle with this loss of physical connection and find their libido fading or feeling less sexually attracted to their partner over time. Some even report feeling like they’re drifting apart or becoming more like friends. While technology like video chatting, sexting or phone sex can help bridge the gap, it’s often not enough to replicate real human touch and intimacy.
The lack of sex and physical bonding may lead to built-up frustration, resentment or feelings of neglect in the relationship. Some couples find that when they are reunited, it can be awkward to reconnect physically and regain that spark. The chemistry and comfort they once shared may feel strained or forced.
Of course, every couple experiences this differently. Some are better able to cope with limited physical intimacy or cherish the time they do have together. But the truth is, human beings have an innate need for physical affection and touch. Depriving yourself of this for long periods can negatively impact both your physical and mental health, as well as the health of your relationship.
Communication Issues Are Hard to Avoid
Long distance relationships aren’t easy. Communication issues especially can be hard to overcome when you’re separated by miles.
First off, time zones can be tricky to navigate. When you finally have a chance to chat, one of you may be exhausted after a long day while the other is bright eyed and bushy tailed. Finding a mutually convenient time to connect can seem nearly impossible.
What’s more, when you need them most, your partner probably isn’t available. Whether you’re celebrating a win at work or just had a horrible day, the comfort you crave from the one you love is out of reach. Sure, you can send a quick text or leave a voicemail, but it’s not the same as hearing their voice or seeing their face.
Perhaps the hardest part is trying to convey the depth of your feelings through a screen. Expressing emotion and intimacy is challenging enough in person, but doing so digitally can feel awkward and forced. There are only so many ways to say “I miss you” and “I love you” before the words start to lose meaning.
Long distance relationships require effort, compromise, trust and patience to thrive. While technology has made it easier to connect across the miles, communication issues will likely still arise. But if you’re willing to work through them together, your relationship can emerge even stronger.
Jealousy and Trust Issues May Arise
Long distance relationships can be challenging to navigate for many reasons. One of the harshest realities is that jealousy and trust issues may arise.
When you’re apart from your partner for long periods of time, feelings of insecurity can creep in. You may start to wonder what they’re up to when you’re not talking or video chatting. Who are they hanging out with? Are they being faithful? The uncertainty of the situation can play tricks on your mind and spark unnecessary jealousy.
To build trust in a LDR, communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Discuss your expectations for the relationship and check in regularly on each other’s feelings. Make an effort to also give each other space and independence. While constant contact may seem reassuring, it’s not sustainable long-term and can be smothering.
You have to accept that you can’t control what your partner does when you’re not together. However, you can work to establish a foundation of trust based on mutual understanding and respect. If at any point you have genuine concerns, don’t be afraid to voice them. But avoid accusations and give your partner the benefit of the doubt unless given a solid reason not to. These are the harsh facts that kill long distance relationships.
With effort and commitment to transparency on both sides, jealousy and trust issues don’t have to ruin an LDR. Have faith in your connection and believe that what you have together is worth fighting for, despite the challenges of being apart. With open communication, you can build a level of trust that will sustain you until the next time you’re able to be in each other’s arms.
Resentment Can Build Up Over Time
Resentment can slowly build when physical intimacy and quality time together are lacking. After months apart, tensions may arise over little annoyances or differences that were once overlooked or tolerated in person. Jealousy and distrust are common long distance relationship problems that erode the foundation of trust and security in the partnership.
Missed Milestones
Important life events, holidays and milestones are often spent apart in long distance relationships. Missing out on each other’s birthdays, work promotions, holidays with family and friends frequently leads to feelings of sadness, isolation and anger over time. Resentment builds from accumulating all the moments you wish you could have shared together in person.
The Odds Are Against You: Shocking Statistics About Long Distance Relationships
The odds are stacked against long distance relationships. Here are some harsh facts:
Shocking Statistics
According to studies, long distance relationships have a 58% chance of ending within the first 3 months. Ouch. Within the first year, a whopping 75% of long distance couples call it quits. The failure rate is high for many reasons:
- 66% of long-distance couples note the lack of physical intimacy as the biggest obstacle.
- 22% of people in LDR relationships admitted to cheating on their partner.
- 42% of long-distance relationships break up at some point.
- A third of long-distance couples break up within 3 months of becoming geographically close.
While these stats are disheartening, the good news is that with effort and commitment, long distance relationships can thrive. It may be an uphill battle, but for those able to overcome the challenges, long distance relationships can be extremely rewarding. With open communication, trust, understanding and patience, you can beat the odds.
If you go into a long distance relationship with realistic expectations about the difficulties, focus on listening to each other’s needs, set shared goals, schedule regular visits when possible and appreciate each moment you do have together, you’ll have a fighting chance of being in the lucky minority of long distance couples that make it. The odds may be against you, but true love knows no distance.
Effect of distance in different stages of relationships
Long distance relationships can be challenging to navigate, especially as the relationship progresses through different stages.
Romantic stage
When you first start dating long distance, everything feels new and exciting. You idealize your new partner and the relationship seems perfect despite the distance. During frequent video chats and visits, the chemistry is palpable. But eventually, the honeymoon stage fades and the harsh realities of distance set in.
Struggle stage
After a few months, communication may decrease and visits become less frequent. Feelings of loneliness, jealousy, and resentment start to emerge as you crave intimacy and physical affection. The challenges of coordinating schedules for quality time together can lead to arguments and power struggles. You start to question whether the relationship can work long-term. Compromise and open communication are key to overcoming this difficult stage.
Commitment stage
If you’re able to navigate the struggle stage, you’ll reach a point of deeper commitment to one another. You establish a regular routine of communication and visits, and learn strategies to stay connected across the distance.
Although it’s still not easy, your commitment to the relationship makes the hard work worthwhile. Discussing an end date to the long-distance aspect, through relocation or other options, becomes important for the sustainability of the relationship.
While long distance relationships can be harsh, the rewards of a loving partnership with the right person, despite any challenges, makes the journey worthwhile. With realistic expectations, open communication, compromise, and commitment, long distance relationships absolutely can survive and thrive.
Conclusion
Brooks A. Aylor in his book
Maintaining Relationships Through Communication
tells that as many as one million people annually report being in a long-distance romantic relationship where both partners are not able to see each other, face-to-face, most days.
The long and short of it is that long distance relationships are tough. They require dedication, commitment, trust, and a lot of work to maintain. But for the right person, the rewards can be well worth it. While it may not always be rainbows and butterflies, if you go into an LDR with realistic expectations, strong communication, and a shared vision of the future, you have a fighting chance to make it work.
So stay positive, make the most of your visits, take advantage of technology to stay connected, and keep your eyes on the prize – eventually closing the distance for good. If you can weather the storms, long distance relationships can stand the test of time. The future you build together will be that much sweeter.
